Yes and No

Lately I've been thinking about opened and closed doors. One of my beefs with life is that we can't do it all. Or can we?

Last year I was accepted into 3 PhD programs. I love learning. I love expanding my mind, my perceptions, my knowledge. I would love to be a student. Forever. But saying "yes" to being a student means saying "no" to a lot of other things.

One of the schools called me last week, asking me if I plan on showing up in the fall. I don't think I will be, but I cannot bring myself to call them back. I am having quite the time shutting that door. I'm lamenting all the learning I could be doing on that path. All the people I would meet. All the self-discoveries and learning discoveries I could make.

I want the magical-realism ability to be able to walk multiple paths and go through multiple doors without ever having to turn my back on possibilities.

So here we are. Not enough time in this life to explore multiple paths, take multiple opportunities . . . or is there? Am I somehow limiting my scope of what could be?

Many Lives, Many Masters

A girl in my line of work can't get 5 feet without reading this international bestseller. Brian Weiss, author of Many Lives, Many Masters is a practicing psychiatrist and graduate of Columbia University and Yale Medical School. I am grateful for his impressive resume, not because I need to be impressed, but because many people dismiss ideas such as reincarnation or hypnotherapy as something only "new agey" hippies would be interested in. The more geniuses that get on board, the more that the doors will open for exploration.

Dr. Weiss' book follows his accidental discovery of past life regression therapy. While treating a client using hypnosis, Dr. Weiss was able to uncover trauma from past lives that still haunts his patient today. Recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks dissipate as the client releases the emotional wounds from the past. As the reader, we go along this journey of profound treatment as well as discovery for both Dr. Weiss and his patient.

One angle many people can appreciate is Dr. Weiss' skepticism. He did not begin hypnosis with this woman with the intent to uncover past lives; in fact, Dr. Weiss didn't even believe that was possible at the time. It was simply not on his radar.

My one major philosophical disagreement with Dr. Weiss would be the idea that there is some kind of class system. In the book, the woman who undergoes hypnotherapy seems to be in a lower, serving type role for many of her lifetimes. This has not been my experience at all. First of all, our class in life is merely an element of our existence that will teach us lessons. Being rich has its own lessons, and being poor has its own lessons. None of our souls are inherently more or less deserving of earthly wealth. Sometimes, in order to put karma in balance, a wealthy Paris Hilton-type may come back on the lower end of the financial scale in order to learn lessons that wouldn't be possible as an uber-rich heiress. But none of us are stuck in these roles. My guess is that the soul of the woman is choosing these serving-type lifetimes to teach her lessons she needs to know.

Nonetheless, this is the best hypnotherapy/past lives 101 book that I can recommend.

To Ponder

"Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Messages Come in All Forms

So today kind of kicked my butt, but without even meaning to I turned a negative into a positive.

After returning from the run up the street to retrieve Rocky and check out his new adorable haircut, I came back to find that someone had parked in my spot. This car has parked in my spot several times before. I sat in the car, idling for a minute, trying to figure out what to do. I could go around knocking on doors looking for the owner, I could have them towed, or I could leave a note. I decided on a note. Basically the note said, "I've been letting it slide in the past, but really, please don't park in my space anymore."

I walked Rocky around the block, and 20 minutes later the driver was sitting in the car. He was confrontational, telling me that "if 5 minutes was really a big deal, then go ahead and call a tow truck." He went through a line of excuses, like my girlfriend lives here (and?), there's no sign (there is), you can park 10 feet away (so can you, buddy), etc. etc. It was ugly.

As dumb as it is, my heart was pounding. I really loathe confrontation. I like peace. I like happy people. I like it when everyone plays by the rules and everyone is nice. If I was that guy, I would have sheepishly driven away and vowed not to park in the spot again. Caught red handed. The jig is up.

But not everyone is like that. So I went inside and called a few places to find out in the future what I should do. As it turns out, I can have the police give a ticket, but calling a tow truck costs me money. Ticket it is. A $30 dollar ticket will send the message, I thought. Please just stay out of my spot.

While I'm on the phone, someone else pulls into my parking spot. The dispatcher asked if someone should be sent over. I really hesitated. I hadn't seen the car before. Maybe they would be right back? The dispatcher said, "These things usually don't get better. It's your spot. It's okay."

So for the first time in my life, I'm having the police come out to my place. Over a parking spot. 30 minutes later, an officer shows up. He was very nice about it and said just call anytime. Yay. Now hopefully this won't happen anymore.

30 minutes after that, someone rings my doorbell. My heart races. People are on the other side of that door. They are mad at me. Run! Grab a blanket and get in the bunker! Hide!

Did I mention that I hate confrontation?

Like a moron, I answer the door. It is a man and a woman, saying that they were unloading groceries (40 minutes? really? never came out of your car to get more groceries? whatever), and what kind of neighbor am I? The man is wagging his finger at me like I'm his child and the woman is yelling.

"I guess there isn't anything more to say here. Goodbye," I say, shutting my door.

"You are a BITCH!!!" the woman screams at the top of her lungs.

Once again, no one wants to be accountable for their actions. We all believe we are the exception to the rule. "No parking" signs don't apply to us. Only other people need to go the speed limit. I have a good metabolism, so I don't need to work out. No one likes to be reminded that they are like everyone else.

I meditated and gave myself Reiki for over 45 minutes trying to calm down and got to the root of my feelings. I was afraid. What was I afraid of? Did I do something wrong? Why are these people so mad at me? What are they going to do to me?

When I finally became calm enough, the response to my question came loud and clear. In the most loving way possible, the creator reminded me that no one can do anything to me. Can they bash in my window? Yes. Can they yell at me? Uh huh. Can they be mean? Sure.

But no one can actually do anything to me unless I let them. How I respond to a bashed window, yelling, or rudeness is all up to me. I don't have to engage the anger. And when that message finally sank in, a huge weight was lifted. I felt so much better. I had given my power away to invisible monsters that had set fire to my house and cut my brakes. I had given it away. No one can take it.

I came out of my meditation laughing at myself. I was laughing at myself for thanking the creator for sending me angry people today in order to remind me of my own power. I am no yogi. Sheesh. But I am trying so, so hard. Not all lessons of the universe are served up with a smile! Now the hard part is holding on to this message when my tires have been slashed . . .

Blog Draught

I try to keep a steady stream of blog posts coming your way, wonderful readers, but sometimes I am void of ideas. If you ever have any, please email me and let me know! I love this "conversation" we have, and I'm always here.

To Ponder

"If wishes and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a bowl of granola."
~Modified Russian Proverb

Talking To Heaven

All in all, James Van Praagh's Talking to Heaven is a great read for anyone wanting to understand the life, work, and philosophy of a medium. I concur with about 99.9% of Van Praagh's discoveries about our time both here on earth and in the hereafter.

In the book, Van Praagh discusses his upbringing in Catholic schools and discovery of his own abilities. He then discusses readings he has had with clients and takes what big-picture messages we can all learn from these incidents.

My one complaint would be that Van Praagh spends far too much time trying to convince both his clients and us as readers that he is in fact a gifted medium and not a fraud. Trust me, I know first hand how hard it is to have people question where or not what you do for a living is actually real or some elaborate fake scheme. I can relate for sure. But with every reading in the book, he explains what information he gave the person that would prove his legitimacy and then provides their reactions. By the 13th and 14th time we hear of someone exclaim "Gosh! How did you know that?" or "Wow! That's amazing! You are the real deal!" it just begins to lose me. If he really feels the need to explain each and every time in his 200-page book that he is not a fraud, his insecurities are just too much. At times, this exhaustive effort really got in the way of the narrative. At this point, either the reader is on board and believes you or they do not.

Regardless of this flaw, Talking to Heaven is certainly worth reading.