Messages Come in All Forms

So today kind of kicked my butt, but without even meaning to I turned a negative into a positive.

After returning from the run up the street to retrieve Rocky and check out his new adorable haircut, I came back to find that someone had parked in my spot. This car has parked in my spot several times before. I sat in the car, idling for a minute, trying to figure out what to do. I could go around knocking on doors looking for the owner, I could have them towed, or I could leave a note. I decided on a note. Basically the note said, "I've been letting it slide in the past, but really, please don't park in my space anymore."

I walked Rocky around the block, and 20 minutes later the driver was sitting in the car. He was confrontational, telling me that "if 5 minutes was really a big deal, then go ahead and call a tow truck." He went through a line of excuses, like my girlfriend lives here (and?), there's no sign (there is), you can park 10 feet away (so can you, buddy), etc. etc. It was ugly.

As dumb as it is, my heart was pounding. I really loathe confrontation. I like peace. I like happy people. I like it when everyone plays by the rules and everyone is nice. If I was that guy, I would have sheepishly driven away and vowed not to park in the spot again. Caught red handed. The jig is up.

But not everyone is like that. So I went inside and called a few places to find out in the future what I should do. As it turns out, I can have the police give a ticket, but calling a tow truck costs me money. Ticket it is. A $30 dollar ticket will send the message, I thought. Please just stay out of my spot.

While I'm on the phone, someone else pulls into my parking spot. The dispatcher asked if someone should be sent over. I really hesitated. I hadn't seen the car before. Maybe they would be right back? The dispatcher said, "These things usually don't get better. It's your spot. It's okay."

So for the first time in my life, I'm having the police come out to my place. Over a parking spot. 30 minutes later, an officer shows up. He was very nice about it and said just call anytime. Yay. Now hopefully this won't happen anymore.

30 minutes after that, someone rings my doorbell. My heart races. People are on the other side of that door. They are mad at me. Run! Grab a blanket and get in the bunker! Hide!

Did I mention that I hate confrontation?

Like a moron, I answer the door. It is a man and a woman, saying that they were unloading groceries (40 minutes? really? never came out of your car to get more groceries? whatever), and what kind of neighbor am I? The man is wagging his finger at me like I'm his child and the woman is yelling.

"I guess there isn't anything more to say here. Goodbye," I say, shutting my door.

"You are a BITCH!!!" the woman screams at the top of her lungs.

Once again, no one wants to be accountable for their actions. We all believe we are the exception to the rule. "No parking" signs don't apply to us. Only other people need to go the speed limit. I have a good metabolism, so I don't need to work out. No one likes to be reminded that they are like everyone else.

I meditated and gave myself Reiki for over 45 minutes trying to calm down and got to the root of my feelings. I was afraid. What was I afraid of? Did I do something wrong? Why are these people so mad at me? What are they going to do to me?

When I finally became calm enough, the response to my question came loud and clear. In the most loving way possible, the creator reminded me that no one can do anything to me. Can they bash in my window? Yes. Can they yell at me? Uh huh. Can they be mean? Sure.

But no one can actually do anything to me unless I let them. How I respond to a bashed window, yelling, or rudeness is all up to me. I don't have to engage the anger. And when that message finally sank in, a huge weight was lifted. I felt so much better. I had given my power away to invisible monsters that had set fire to my house and cut my brakes. I had given it away. No one can take it.

I came out of my meditation laughing at myself. I was laughing at myself for thanking the creator for sending me angry people today in order to remind me of my own power. I am no yogi. Sheesh. But I am trying so, so hard. Not all lessons of the universe are served up with a smile! Now the hard part is holding on to this message when my tires have been slashed . . .