Yes and No

Lately I've been thinking about opened and closed doors. One of my beefs with life is that we can't do it all. Or can we?

Last year I was accepted into 3 PhD programs. I love learning. I love expanding my mind, my perceptions, my knowledge. I would love to be a student. Forever. But saying "yes" to being a student means saying "no" to a lot of other things.

One of the schools called me last week, asking me if I plan on showing up in the fall. I don't think I will be, but I cannot bring myself to call them back. I am having quite the time shutting that door. I'm lamenting all the learning I could be doing on that path. All the people I would meet. All the self-discoveries and learning discoveries I could make.

I want the magical-realism ability to be able to walk multiple paths and go through multiple doors without ever having to turn my back on possibilities.

So here we are. Not enough time in this life to explore multiple paths, take multiple opportunities . . . or is there? Am I somehow limiting my scope of what could be?