An Actual 3am Epiphany

A few nights ago, I was meditating on my own fears. I was practicing mindfulness, where the objective is to observe our thoughts. In its purest form, after observing the presence of a thought, you're supposed to let it go. But being my analytical self, I couldn't help it; I just had to figure out what was up with my crazy monkey brain.

So first what I noticed is that I have a fairly strong concern with getting consumed by other people's feelings. I think this has come from years of being an energetic sponge, taking in the emotions of my environment. It's only increased over time, and now that I'm aware of it and how devastating it can be when negative emotions take hold, I am always conscious of my environment. In some situations, my internal chant is something like, "God shield me; God protect me."

I was thinking about what an exhausting process this is and that something doesn't seem quite right with it. I also believe that God is a loving energy that flows through every person, and therefore we are all connected and all the same. Our physical separation may make us believe that we are all separate, but in fact we are all one; this makes sense with the idea that I can be easily affected by the emotions in others.

Then I realized that maybe protection isn't needed; instead, I must work to see the God in every person I meet. Rather than putting up my energetic shield the moment I meet someone, praying for protection and shielding, I should instead hold the intention to see God in the person I meet. So now I'm trying this. With every soul I meet, out in the world, or through a meditation, or through a visualization, I practice "seeing" the God inside them with my third eye. Then, I visualize their God energy getting stronger and stronger until it fills their entire body; I do the same with myself. And in the final piece, I visualize that our energies meet.

So instead of every meeting with a person being a "clash of the energies" and a fretful prayer for protection, it is a union of the God energy. Fear, neutralized. God, realized. This process allows me to silence the fearful voice of my ego that is terrified at an energetic takeover. And once again, this whole process proves that love (ie God) wins out over fear all the time, every time.