Soul Mates

If I really had my ducks in a row, this post would appear on Valentine's Day. I always marvel at the way that magazines and TV shows are so timely; the week before Thanksgiving there's always the "Thanksgiving episode" in my favorite TV shows.

Planning. Who knew.

Let me share with you what I've learned about love relationships by relaying the messages of angels and guides many times:

• First, there isn't necessarily something like a "soul mate" exactly, at least not in the way movies, TV shows, books, etc. would have us think. 99.9% of us don't have one person we are destined to be with who will make our blood boil and our brains turn to mush for 60 long years of blissful marriage. I know this sounds Earth-shattering, yet the world keeps spinning and gravity is still keeping my hair lying flat.
  
• We actually could conceivably have a functional, happy relationship with several people in any one lifetime. Our choices, his choices, timing, and in-the-flow happenings get us to the point of picking one.
• There are many "archetypes" in love relationships. There is the teacher/student dynamic; the best friend dynamic; the door-opener who shows us the world; the one that teaches us how to love ourselves; the best cheerleader we could ever have; and many more. None of these dynamics are happenstance; we choose the mate that helps us in the way we need help. Even if it is an abusive relationship, we are learning from it.
• Sometimes a love relationship is a short-term deal where a partner will appear in our life to teach us something important, and then either we or they will move on. Moving on from a significant relationship does not mean that it was an unimportant relationship; sometimes the most important lessons come from the ex-boyfriend/ex-husband.
  

With this information, you can imagine that some of us have a really difficult time with relationships. I often talk to women who are concerned that they've missed "the one," or feel very happy with their current partner but have a nagging feeling that they aren't actually "soul mates." The best thing you can do is to get that kind of malarkey out of your head. Try not to be concerned about whether or not your relationship meets the textbook definition of soul mates; it very rarely exists in reality. Instead, allow yourself to learn and grow from your love relationships, and marvel at how beautifully they've taught you such important lessons about yourself.