My Yearly Pilgrimage

As a college English major and complete book-devouring monster, it's really hard for me to read anything twice; there's always such a long list of books I want to get to. And I really will read anything--historical fiction, memoirs, novels, plays, self-help--nothing is off-limits for me. I have even been known to succumb to the low-brow (omg Twilight). So with this kind of range, my "need to read" list is always at least 10 books deep.

But every June, I faithfully return to Eat, Pray, Love. It's kind of like checking in with an old friend every year, seeing how far (or short) I've come in life's lessons. And each time I read, it seems like something that didn't really strike a chord with me the last time will seem so important by the next time.

I've always been hard-working and self-deprecating, so I never really "got it" when she went to Italy. The first time I picked it up, I thought hmmm, kind of a waste of time, dontcha think, Liz? You could do some serious life-puzzle-solving with four months. Truthfully, I dismissed it as a self-indulgent vacation period.

But this June, I. got. it.

After 3 years of teaching high school for Chicago Public Schools, I was beaten and defeated. I had gained weight, aged way beyond 3 years, developed anxiety issues, and felt tired and lost. Elizabeth had her nightly sob-sessions on the floor of her bathroom, and I had my classroom prep-period breakdowns.

After a ridiculous amount of struggle, I surrendered to my heart and an uncertain future, and I quit my job. So in the best way I knew how, I had my own little Italy period in Chicago starting in November. I slept in. I took a vacation to Washington and Oregon. I read books that I had been wanting to get to for years. I started cooking for myself; like I used ingredients and followed directions beyond "heat for 4 minutes in the microwave." I even went to Italy in March and ate through the country just like ol' Lizzie.

Now, I feel like I truly understand the value of taking a break from life. There are times when you have to say seriously, I'm done, I will walk away and figure this out later. Surrendering. Letting go. Trusting that if you listen to your body and your heart, you will be okay.

And I came out on the other side. In a completely unplanned turn of events, my intuitive abilities fully manifested between November and February. I left my career lost and confused, and after walking away found a completely unexpected fully fulfilling path instead.

So I've decided that from now on I will withhold my judgments on seemingly self-indulgent breaks from life. Sometimes, stopping to do nothing is the only way you'll ever be able to move forward again.